NPC Dialogue and You

Or..."what on earth are those guys smoking?"



The Peacock Club quests, for those of you who don't know about them, tie into a multitude of other quests in the DoF expansion, not least amoung them, the T6 Prismatic weapons... which should be, if I've read the updates correctly, worth the headache of doing the long, agonizing drawn out quests that lead to it.

They also tie into the 4th "hidden" Tears Faction quests, which allow you to get good faction with all three existing Maj Dul factions.

So, after you complete quest two "Welcome to the Peacock Club," you head back to the Club to speak with Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz. Ok the name should give it away here that you're in for some cheese and shmaltz or whatever you want to call it when things are so ridiculous they're amusing (like...Paris Hilton, but maybe that's different). Wad'dah - water... Haz'Iz=Has His... so yes, that's right, you're talking to dyslexic Lord Has His Water. No cake and eating it, too, for those Peacock Club suckers, they get water. Where's Lord Ali'Gah Tis'Bred?

You show up in the club to find it has been trashed. Ok, granted, it doesn't take much to trash the Peacock Club. There's like, 3 tables, a chair and a couple cushions. There's a chessboard there, like any of these guys are bright enough to push the pieces around, and a lovely tapestry. All in all, it's pretty sparse on the bling.

Lord Water, is hanging out in the back. We're supposed to believe he's hiding, but he's standing right there in the open, in a bright orange and green robe, looking like he missed his ride to the weekly rave at the Court of Coin.



Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"Oh! It's just you. I thought my life was over when I heard that door creak open."

So, you adopted the clever ninja technique of standing there pretending to be a tapestry... Show me "potted palm"!

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"What are you hiding from?"

This needs something, IMO.

For example:
You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"What are you hiding from? hahaha"

See? Much better.

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"Hadal is missing! He has been taken like all the rest. I was sure you were the culprit kidnapper returned to take the final peacock."

First, I'm talking to a guy who calls himself the "final peacock."

Second, who are these guys, that all their years of being a top secret organization, they respond to a bit of basic gang violence by standing around waiting for questers to show up.
I want to write my own responses, like: "I think helping you at this point would be 'enablement,' I'm sorry." /leave

Third, do we really need two nouns here? The "culprit kidnapper." I think the script writer just felt both words were too good to be left out, so opted for redundancy and threw them both in there.

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"Taken like all the rest? The final peacock? What do you mean?"

And this guy is going to rely on me to save the world? It's called the PEACOCK CLUB and the guy is the only one standing inside it. I don't know, what do you think he means?
/scratch head
/ponder
Oh come on now, just make a guess...

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"I have not been open with you, my friend, but it is time to trust in you. You may be the only friend I have left in this city. It is time to tell you of the Fellowship of the Peacock."

You know, at this moment, I started feeling positively Godlike. Not in a "I can shoot lightening bolts from my eyes and make rivers turn to blood..muahahaa" way, but more of a beleagured "why is it I don't hear a word out of these people for years, but when they need something, it's 'oh, God, you are the greatest! You're my only bestest friend!' like I haven't heard that one before?"

And pardon me for saying that "Fellowship of the Peacock" doesn't sound like a co-ed club.

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"Who are the Fellowship of the Peacock?"

They're sorta like the Fellowship of the Ring, only with really fancy hats.

In an uncanny parallel, the wizards in this story die and come back to life, too, only with appalling frequency.

In a complete and total sidetrack, and with the LOTR EQ gif in mind, I wonder what *really* happened in the Mines of Moria. It looks suspiciously like the tanks said "let's just train Balrog" while Gandolf got left behind to get beat on (then fall off a cliff), but maybe that's just me.

Gandolf (faint & echoey from the bottom of the chasm): "can I get a rez, pls..."
Gimli: "well, there goes our DPS..."


Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"The Fellowship of the Peacock is a secret society brought together in this secret hall to pay homage to the forgotten goddess and become enlightened in the gift of immortality. "

Well they do say the best place to hide things is in plain sight. But I do think it's stretching it a touch to call a 2 bedroom apartment a "hall."

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"Who is this forgotten goddess? "

I dunno. I forget. Did I say I was relying on you to save my people? Oh my mistake, I meant the other you... you know, the smart one. Doesn't look like you at all, really. Oh my, not sure how I got my papers mixed up at all...

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"The goddess is one lost to the ages. She is a goddess of everlasting life. To gaze upon the radiance that beams from her peacock mane and drink from her ewer would fill a soul with eternal youth."

This is where I started wondering about hallucinagenics and the quest writers. Peacock mane? Has someone let the members of the Peacock Club in on the facts here?

First: The colorful plumage is attached to the ass, not the head.
Second: A female peacock is a peahen. They're really quite bland, and don't have the colorful plumage of the male peacock.

The female is the drab one on the left...

And I'm sorry, say "ewer" out loud and not smirk. C'mon, you know you did.

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"Who is this goddess? "

Pardon you, but did I not just say she is forgotten, and a peacock...and she has a big bowl of punch?!

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"The Fellowship knows only what we have uncovered. We know her as Anashti Sul. She reigned over the universe long before dragon or elf set foot upon Norrath. "

Well realistically, Mister Last Peacock, we weren't asking you to divulge information you didn't know, as you know, this is technically impossible.

Just an fyi: Our quester should start getting suspicious he/she is being strung along here (if the first 2 quests didn't give that away).

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"What does this have to do with your current state of fear? "

Much less my current state of confusion.

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"The Fellowship is a secret society, but occasionally rumor of our existence slips out into the shadows. There are those that hear of our lost goddess and surely will kill for the knowledge we hold. That is why I am all that is left. "

Well, sorta secret..but not so secret that the odd quester can't just stumble in the door and find themselves charged with the task of saving civilazation as we know it... or don't know it...or have forgotten, as it may be. Where are we again? This place could use some color.

Btw, I don't know why anyone would kill you for your knowledge, pal, you're like an empty ewer here in the information department.

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"Are you saying someone has kidnapped all the other members? "

What gave it away, do you think? The missing other guy in the "hall"?

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"Yes. One by one they have all disappeared. I am the last! Dear me... I do not want to be tortured and killed before I can even drink from the ewer of eternal youth! Help me. "

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Ben spent his formidable years as a butler in the Bayle family home, and trained our friend Haz'Iz in the ways of frightened exclamations. Because you know, when my life is in danger and I'm looking at the possibilty of torture and death, the first words I'm going to utter are "Dear me..." ("where did I put those glasses...")

At this point I remarked in guild chat "Yeah, that sort of kills the point of drinking from the ewer of eternal youth, being dead."

Also, wasn't it "immortality" a minute ago? See how the story changes? You're gonna get suckered, sucker. I bet he's got watches in his fancy robe.

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"I will help you. What can I do?"

Oh quester, you never learn. Don't you remember that carpet salesman and his "Take this note to a guy in the plaza... "

Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz\/a says to you,"Find out who kidnapped Hadal and I am sure you will find who has kidnapped all of the fellowship of the Peacock. Put an end to them. Do so and I will share all I know about buried cities filled with treasures beyond belief. "

Looking around this joint, I'm going to hazard a guess that I'm going to be reaping slim rewards on PLWH's knowledge of "buried cities filled with treasures beyond belief." No offense intended, of course, to those who prefer to adopt a more sparsely furnished zen lifestyle, but this guy's orange robe just doesn't say "simplicity is the key to enlightenment," IMO.

Also keep in mind here that he's referred to a 2 room apt as a "hall"... so our buried city filled with treasures may ultimately land us in Mayberry with Opie, Aunt Bee and a couple grape popsicles.

You say to Peacock Lord Wad'dah Haz'Iz,"I'll find the culprit."

Or go pay one of these Dervish Thiefs to be a culprit kidnapper.

I, erstwhile adventurer, quester and dim of wit, not realizing I've been suckered, set about searching for clues in the "hall."

While examining the dagger you discover blood from Hadal on the blade and a few strands of very coarse hair. It is obvious that it is not human hair, but perhaps the coarse hair of some beast the rider may have tortured.

I'm a one woman walking forensics lab. Somehow I know it's Hadal's blood and not the dastardly Culprit Kidnapper's, but yet, standing around in a house in the middle of a desert land, I can't figure out wtf a camel hair looks like.

I sense great things coming my way.